I need to invest in Flash-Cards…

It’s not really the worst problem to have, but I am really tired of getting hit on while bartending. I know it’s part of the territory, but come on already! Some of it can be flattering, but more so it just makes me feel a little awkward. I have a pretty strict policy about dating customers. Politely telling customers no can be a little exhausting. The awkwardness that follows is the worst part.

There’s also a fine line: You want to be nice to your customers, but you don’t want to go out with them. It’s a little bit of a tough act to pull off on regular basis, and if I’m being honest, some customers, you don’t even want to be nice to.

So yesterday this couple comes in. The wife is this meek little thing while the husband acts like he practically owns the place. He went on and on about his bad day and how he can’t sleep… (So now I’m a therapist?) They decide to sit outside on our new patio. The wife lags behind and asks if I am going to come outside and cheer her husband up. “Sure”,  I tell her (Cause that’s my job). She then proceeds to tell me that he’ll tip me really good if I flash him! Anybody that knows me well would know that when I exclaimed “Okay, Cool!” with a smile that I really meant “Go @$# yourself!”

What else could I say? I was caught so off guard. I probably could have avoided the situation if I would have simply said, “No, Thank you.” So it was pretty awkward when I delivered their next round of drinks. The husband says that “I told her I would do it”. I was polite about it, but I told him that it was certainly a miscommunication and that it was never going to happen. She really thought she was going to collect on that???

Then the came back inside and stayed for another hour, telling me how cool I am and that they were such good tippers, blah, blah, blah… So yeah, that was pretty uncomfortable. I began to wonder, does that work for them? What is their tag-team success rate? Does that really happen in a lot of places? What is the standard tipping rate for things like that? I am so inexperienced in flash-trade game… Anywho…

Tonight I am donating my tips to the American Cancer Society. I know it’s my slowest night, but c’mon. I’ve got smokes to buy…


The next Monday they came back. We had to call the cops because he got into a fight with another customer over giving him a ride home. These guys are probably about fifty years old. And it was about 3pm ON A MONDAY!

I heart bartending.


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September 2010
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