Best. Summer. Ever.

Okay, so last summer I went to Europe, so it’s a close tie.

I certainly gave my cigarettes a hell of a farewell summer block party. Apparently, they weren’t quite ready to be done. I had quite the summer of concerts, parties and ‘F’ and ‘UN’. Day one of non-smoking, and I seriously wonder why it was that I needed to include smoking in all of that madness. As if it makes rocking out any more bad-ass… I just doesn’t make sense. I’m certainly not any less funny as a non-smoker nor am I any more apt to following rules…

A couple of random things before we get started on the Fall of ‘F’ and ‘ITNESS’:

  1. I saw Crazy Heart w/Jeff Bridges. Okay, Baller Soundtrack. Props to Jeff Bridges for a utilizing his pipes and having the courage to drunkly stumble to bathroom floor in his tightie-whities. However D- on the storyline. 85% of the film was spent with the main character, Bad Blake, played by Bridges demonstrating the effects of extreme alcoholism. 10% of the film deals with Blake realizing that he’s an alcoholic and the remaining 5% shows rehabilitation and redemption. Now, I’m not a doctor, nor a film-maker for that matter, but having a little experience with Nicotine addiction, I would wager to say that becoming sober and staying sober is the meat of the matter. The film takes you on a rock’n’roll ride that somewhat glorifies Blake’s lifestyle. And of course, he writes a hit song at the end to make it all better. Again this song, The Weary Kind, is beautiful —seriously I would take nothing away from it, but they made rehab+ looks so simple. I’m just saying: Can we fast forward to the royalty checks, marathon victories and tobacco being a faint memory in my case?
  2. Fire Safe Cigarettes: These have me a little frightened. Ethylene vinyl acetate sounds like something used in bookmaking. Seriously meine zigaretten taste horrible since they added this last fall. Not that they were awesome beforehand, but come on! As if A) we need one more chemical added to cigarettes, B) another crutch for self-responsibility. Anywho, that stuff is bad. One more reason to quit. If you’re planning on continuing to smoke, look into rolling your own.
  3. One of my customers at the bar took a chiromancy class in college. That’s fancy for palm reading. Apparently, I am going to have two husbands, but my “marriage” lines do something funky that he doesn’t quite understand by merging… So I took some liberty and assume that it means that I am going two husbands at the same time. I mean, it makes sense… Being a husband is a tough job, might as well share the responsibilities, no? “Two husbands for every Girl!” Isn’t that how that Beach Boys song goes? Anywho, so I’m pretty pumped about that little tidbit of information. I know one thing: One of them is going to be a mechanic, because I have car issues…
  4. I met that blogger that I am going to marry. Very sweet and charming. That’s all I’m going to say about that… the other husband of course is going to have a monster music collection…
  5. That hot Blue Steele boy moved. Apparently after me you get your trip to the land of opportunity. Which apparently isn’t Cleveland these days. I got one quarter left to make something happen here. I do love my hometown and everyone here, and do feel that there is a lot of opportunity here, but I guess everyone else nay-saying the city is beginning to get to me. I guess it would be helpful if maybe I started looking for a job… We’ll see what happens…
  6. My apologies to Snookie. After a long summer of concerts, 70% of which I spotted Mr. Pink or some of his friends at, I finally caught a glimpse of my replacement. Which of course wasn’t really the case as he was dating her while he was dating me… but I digress… She doesn’t look like Snookie from Jersey shore. She kinda looks like a poodle. And she likes Justin Timberlake. She must’ve been who he confused me with when he said to me: “For someone who doesn’t like Pearl Jam, you sure have a lot of Pearl Jam.” Aaand I’m not just being spiteful, the other dudes I was with confirmed that she “wasn’t cute”. Aaaand make no mistake, I’m not happy about it. As a matter of fact I hate it when people tell me that my exes new girls aren’t cute. For the love: Trade up, already! I’d be much happier seeing my ex getting married to a supermodel than, well, a poodle. If they aren’t cuter than me it means they have a better personality than me… or maybe a better credit score… or god-forbid, funnier than me… once I was told that the choice for the other girl was based on the fact that she worked at Victoria Secret and got a discount… Don’t get me started… Anywho, I finally deleted him as a facebook friend about a month ago. I’m over it. I swear. I’m just giving the update.
  7. Chicago was awesome! It was an excellent end to a fantastic summer concert series. Myself, my besties Josie and Jennifer packed into the Corolla for a good old fashion road trip. DJ Jazzy Jose was playing all the hits. Friday night the three of us went out and cut a rug! Yes, we dance clubbed it up! I wore my silver sequin shirt that my sister keeps saying is “too much” every time I try it on. I can’t remember the last time we went out dancing. Whitney Houston’s “How will I know?” came on and we went crazy, definitely showing our age. I, in all my graceful drunken glory, dramatically spun around the stripper poll “singing in the rain”-style and completely wiped out. Disco-ball down! I’m sure we were quite the sight.
  8. Oh, yeah the Counting Crows concert was awesome as well. A little bizarre, though. Ravinia Park is a strange beautiful little venue. You have to be sitting in the pavilion to actually see the concert. The rest of the venue is a wooded park with a small “field” that has screens set up in a few places. We really were not prepared. The other concert goers brought tables (tables? yes, tables to a concert), chairs, candelabras, fondue sets, cards, checkers, wine, luxurious cheese spreads…. “Hmm, Paddington! Pull around mommy’s Mercedes!” It was very fancy. It was also very chatty. It was a really tough place to listen to a concert. Midway through the show Jose and I finally secured a spot at the edge of the pavilion where we could see and hear the show. It was pretty amazing. They played continuously with Augustana covering Van Morrison’s Caravan, Dylan’s Just Like a Woman and ended with This Land is my Land. Great finale to the Summer of ‘F’ and ‘UN”!

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