This Blog is About Smoking Cessation, no?

So back to the matter at hand.

I once dated a guy who had the Chinese symbol for “focus” tattooed on his wrist. I laughed at him. Now, I’m thinking it might not be such a bad idea for myself.

So it’s been about seven weeks. So far I haven’t gained any weight, killed my sister or smoked a cigarette.

This Saturday will be my first run on real terrain. So the whole Nike Chip + my iPod didn’t work. They said my iPod was too old.

“Easy,” I told the leader of the Geek Squad at Best Buy, “It can hear you. It’s in my purse. Nobody talks about my boyfriend that way.” (Wait, who’s the geek now?)

Since tackling the tower, I have ditched the treadmill. It’s cheating. Sorry, folks, it is. The machine keeps your body moving. I began running on the tack at the gym. HOLY SAUNA, it’s hot up there! Not to mention crowded, and of course, smelly. I ran my little heart out the first day. I was sooo pumped! I wasn’t keeping track but I knew that I ran at least ran eight laps, which was probably eight miles. Yeah suckas!!!

I was so pumped I forgot to ask the girl at counter how many laps are a mile when I left the gym. I called later to find out that one mile = 16 laps! So yeah, not even close, Napoleon Dynomite.

So anyways, last week I was finally actually able to run a whole entire mile without stopping. The trick, I have learned, is that you have to run super slow. I find this horribly annoying. While jogging, I am constantly thinking to myself, “Dear Lord and the Baby, I can walk faster than this!” I’ve been doing tree miles of a run(jog)/walk combo at least four times a week. In the beginning I walked four laps and ran four laps. Then I up the ante: walking for four laps, running for eight. And like I said last week is the first time I ran for sixteen.

This is really amazing. I’m sure it sounds silly to you athletically savvy peeps. But I don’t think that I have ever in my life ran a whole mile without stopping. Again: I was an F-A-T baby. My uncle nicknamed me Chuckwagon. My sister later adapted it to ChuNkwagon. Last picked EVERY time for team sports in School. Now make no mistake I’m not calling myself fat. (That would be absurd and rude.) I am saying that I have the endurance and lung capacity of Jabba the Hut.

So this run on Saturday is two miles in the Cleveland Flats. I don’t know why they call it flat when it’s not really that flat at all. There’s going to be a lot of hills. Great. I can’t wait. If this is anything like tackling the tower I might need to find a new means to stay skinny. Has anyone ever experimented with diet pills?

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2 Responses to “This Blog is About Smoking Cessation, no?”


  1. 1 Christina March 10, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    I tried one of those diet pills a few years back. After day two I couldn’t feel my right arm. I’ll take a little chunk over an extended stroke any day! I don’t understand the whole treadmill thing. Every time I attempt it I realize that I do very much suffer from Adult ADD. I mean really??? 30 minutes, I’m completely exhausted and have gone NOWHERE. I’ve spent thirty minutes staring at a dent in the wall. I can solve the health care crisis in less time.

  2. 2 marley beans March 14, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    I’m still loving, “chlorophyl, how about borophyl?” from the last post! I love it Stace 🙂


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