buyer beware

So, seriously. This is it. This is the three week mark. This is the day where scientists are telling you it takes 21 days to break a habit. I haven’t even chewed a piece of nicotine gum in a couple of days. This is the day that people throw a parade for you. This is the day your dad calls you and tells he is proud of you. This is the day that I replace my missing hubcap as my three week reward. This is the day that everyone freaks out. Yeah!!! Let’s go streaking through the quad.

The fight has actually just begun. From the get go of this project I have made it clear that this part of the stretch is the easy part. It’s so new. Everyone is interested in how you’re doing. Everyone has accolades and advice. Now, you’re just a non-smoker like everyone else. You, did it. Nobody cares. There no excitement. This is when I start to feel: “Hey, I can quit any time I like.”

And that’s where the trouble starts. I do not want to smoke a cigarette, but I do happen to miss them. We had a superbowl party at the bar where I work and towards the end of the night I was a little hazy… and jonesing for a cigarette. Not because I needed it, but because it just seemed appropriate.

While I did not smoke, I:

  1. Had a full-on conversation with my buddy Mark’s pack of Marlboro Lights. Apparently I told them that I missed them and that we’ll be together soon. I also told them that I didn’t care that if people thought I was crazy for talking to a pack if cigarettes. “They don’t know what we had.” This was all relayed to me by Mark the next day.
  2. I asked Mark if I could hold his lit cigarette. I did. I didn’t take a hit, but I sure wanted to. My fingers smelled so disgusting after.
  3. I stole a cigarette from Mark’s pack while nobody was looking. Hahaha… My evil plan was to smoke it later after everyone had left. But for some magical reason I put it back before he noticed it was gone.

So there you have it. I am slowly making deals with the devil. I’m not making excuses, I’m just saying that this is the hard part for me.


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February 2010
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