step class

So my friend Joann and I made our returning debut to step class. Here are the reasons I cannot stand step class and I do not recommend it to anyone:

  1. The music makes me want to choke someone out. It’s pop music remixed into techno. If it were one or the other, I think I’d be okay, but it gives me a head ache.
  2. The instructor whom I assume the picture of health probably has 0% body fat. Which of course is a good thing, but her stomach muscles are so big, they extrude beyond her chesticle muscles. This frightens me. I’m always afraid that if I do too much stepping I will look like that.
  3. The instructor yells into her microphone. This, this is not necessary.
  4. The instructor yells at you. I don’t care much for bossing.
  5. Everyone in the class is super serious. I feel so silly doing all of their silly little poses and moves I can’t help but laugh. Are you for real?
  6. I am usually early. It is usually pretty packed so I quickly grab two steps and stake out a good spot for me and Joann. Without fail, every single time, some a-clown parks her step two inches in front of me. A) I can’t see what’s going on. B) I spend the entire class trying to avoid kicking them in the back of the head.
  7. Again: I have two left feet. I feel like an idiot in these classes.  For a detailed visual description see previous post Trainer Matt. No matter what, when everyone moves left I am going to the right. When everyone is touching their toes, I am reaching for the ceiling. I am beginning to think that I might need to be tested for dyslexia doing everything backwards like that.

The good news is this: Previously I felt like I was going to die the first ten minutes into these classes. I wasn’t out of breath a single time throughout the entire class, so that makes me happy. In the meantime I’d much rather do Joann’s Turbo Jam workout video. At least when the instructor bosses you, she can’t hear you yell “eff-off!” through the tv.

I also found out that I cannot use the Nike chip with my iPod. The rep at Best Buy told me it was too old. So if I want the chip to work I have to buy a new iPod. Probably not going to happen. That’s like buying a new car just because you need a new tire. So instead of the Nike Chip as my two week reward, I had steak. If you’re looking for an excellent Filet Migon Oscar (with crab meat and asparagus) I highly recommend D’Agnese’s Restaurant in Broadviewheights. Fantastic! I would have made out with that piece of meat of I could have.


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February 2010
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