Shake it fast, watch yourself…

So I went to the gym. I grabbed a five pound weight and went to sit down on a yoga ball. In the time that I got ready to be seated, the yoga ball rolled away and I fell flat on my ass. It was humiliating. Lucky that hot trainer was nowhere to be seen.

Also, I had a chat with my friend Billy last night who tried to teach me a little bit about running endurance. See, usually I can only run for about six minutes (max ten) without wanting to scream for a stretcher. This will not work for this 5k in April. So he told me to jog as slow as I need to go for a minimum of twenty minutes. I took his advice. I ran with no incline at 3.4 speed (I have no idea what that means), but after ten minutes I felt pretty great. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that it has been over 24hours since my last cigarette, or the fact that was pacing myself. I was so pumped, I almost screamed! “Yeah for me!” What a cheeseball… So anywho, I was pretty pumped when I hit the sixteen minute mark. What? Who knew? It may sound silly to some people whom are super athletic, but I was over the moon. I had never done this before. At 17:30 minutes, my iPod fell off the treadmill ledge!!! I immediately stopped the machine. MY BABY!!! It’s not my mac, but it’s next in line when it comes to electronics. It was fine… but so close to the 20 minute mark! I hopped right back on and finished, but I definitely need to get my armband STAT. We can’t have anymore near iPod death experiences. Seriously, if something like that happened, I’d hurl myself down the stairs of the gym, attack someone for smokes and have a full-blown three-year-old temper tantrum.

Some notes about working out: I get it. I feel amazing after working out. However, one of the my biggest issues is that you get sweaty and have to wear special clothes. This annoys the crap out of me. I don’t mind the forty-five minutes of straining and sweating, but the hour and a half to change into work out gear, drive to the gym, then having to shower after annoys the living crap out of me. As if I have two hours a day to prep and un-prep for 45minutes of sweating that will increase my endorphines, make me live longer, keep me fit…. blah, blah, blah…

Also, when I am jamming out to my iPod on the treadmill, I fear that I am going to bust out in song and dance like that kid in the Hugh Grant movie, About a Boy. Seriously, one of these days I’m gonna yell “Young souls, unite! We’ve got ourselves a fight…” from Pearl Jam’s Leash, “Who’s that bucked naked cook fixing three course meals?” from Ludicris’ Roll Out, or worse yell out Mariah’s “Heartbreaker, you’ve got the best of me…” It’s a little bit of a fear. It’s kinda like showing up naked English class.

I chewed a piece of Nicorette while running. I thought that was pretty cool. You can’t really smoke in the gym while running. I kinda felt like a secret bad-ass. Side note for those of you who have tried Nicorette in the past: They have done a lot to improve it in the last couple of years. Now they have choices of mint, cinnamon or fruit flavors and it’s much softer. So if you’ve had your doubts about it, maybe it might be time to revisit it.

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1 Response to “Shake it fast, watch yourself…”


  1. 1 marley beans January 19, 2010 at 2:37 am

    secret bad ass? it’s no secret that you’re a bad ass!


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