rewards plan :: (subject to change)

Okay so here goes:

Day 1: After successfully not smoking for a day I will purchase an armband for my ipod. Have you seen the prices on these things??? My best find has been $25!!! $25 for a piece of plastic!?!?!? Anywho, I’m going to need this if I am going to become a world famous marathoner/blogger.

One Week: New work out diggs: Okay, no kicks, but maybe a new fancy track suit. Kinda’ like Mac’s on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang gets Whacked. I dunno. Trainer Matt is kinda hot. I think that we would have absolutely nothing in common. It would be beautiful. It would be exactly what I’m looking for.

One Month: Expensive Concert Tickets. Or cheap ones. I don’t care. I’m going to rock out. (Ooooh, Pearl Jam in London…)

Three Months: Teeth Whitening. Holy shizz, this stuff is expensive. But I’m gonna do it up. I plan on flashing these pearly whites everywhere. While of course wanting to kill someone for lack of cigarettes.

Six Months: I am going to Washington to visit my cousin. I am going to take my BFF Joann and we are going to sit outside Eddie Vedder’s house. After we convince him to marry Joann instead of his current fiance we’ll have a little chat about why they haven’t played in Cleveland for a while. Of course I will be completing my other outrageous goal for this year (mushrooms) so we’ll see how that goes.

Nine Months: A new coat. I know, kinda lame, but I really like coats and since so many of mine are a little jacked from my nasty habit I figured this might be a good idea. We’ll see. I might buy a boat or something even more ridiculous instead.

Twelve Months: First I’m going to celebrate by buying an entire carton of my beloved Camel Lights. Then I am going to buy a puppy. Perhaps an Afghan. There will be a parade. I will ride my Afghan through the streets of Cleveland while smoking an entire carton of cigarettes!!! Move over St. Paddy’s Day Parade, there’s a new sheriff in town.

So that’s the plan. I have a date with Bachelor #1 from New Years Eve tomorrow night. He corrected my spelling in a text message. Beats the hell out of not capitalizing your sentences.


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January 2010
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